A Contradictory Existence
by Vocivis Lacrimo
Summary: One small change can have widespread effects on the course of destiny. One small detour after a festival with his sisters and Ichigo's life suddenly takes a dark turn. Ichigo becomes a hollow in order to save his sisters from being devoured, but can he truly hold on to his humanity as a hollow? Rated M for violence and safety.


**AN: It's a new story! For those of you who read Death vs Maelstrom, there's no need to worry. I'm still working on it but my muse has started singing again and she demands that I write this. I recently finished Bleach and... I confess myself disappointed. The ending seemed very rushed and to be honest didn't make a lot of sense. Then there's the matter of the cannon ships that I totally do NOT dig, and what the hell happened to Grimmjow and Nel? DAMN YOU TITE KUBO! Bah! Rant of the way, while I didn't put in spoilers in said rant there will be spoilers (of a sort) later. If you haven't gotten very far into the last arc of the manga some character powers may be spoiled for you. Warning out of the way this story will diverge quite a bit from canon at a preset point that will remain undisclosed until it happens. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Without further author babble, I give you my newest creation.**

"Speech."

 **"Hollow Speech."**

 _"Thoughts/Inner Speech."_

 _ **"Inner Hollow."**_

Chapter One: The Birth of a Contradictory Existence

Ichigo held his sisters' hands as they walked back to the clinic from the summer festival. It had been a pretty good day so far. He'd managed to win Yuzu a small stuffed lion which she absolutely adored and he won Yuzu a New soccer ball.

"Hey Ichi-nii, what do you want for dinner tonight?" His younger sister Yuzu asked with a sweet smile.

"You know I love anything you cook, Yuzu." Ichigo replied with an honest smile that he usually reserved only for his sisters.

"Hmm, how about beef tips with rice and miso?" She asked with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Sure that sounds great." He said, and Yuzu smiled brightly at him. Ichigo turned to Karin and asked the question that changed the course of fate. In another life he would have spent a little more money trying to get that stuffed lion for Yuzu at the festival. In another life they would have gone straight home from the festival. This time however, things were going to change.

"I have a little money left over. Karin, how would you like to stop at a convenience store and get some ice cream for desert. It can be whatever flavor you want." He said with a smirk. Karin's eyes widened for a moment before she smacked her fist into her palm.

"Alright! Chocolate ice cream it is!" She announced as they continued to walk. As they turned down a street two blocks from their house and began their detour, Ichigo thought he heard what sounded like a howl. He frowned but shrugged it off since his sisters didn't seem to hear anything. The sun was beginning to set now and as they neared the convenience store a large shape hidden in shadows watched them from across the street.

 **"Hehe, such a delicious smelling human. What luck."** The creature said to itself, but none of the Kurosaki siblings heard.

-Scene Break-

 **"GRAAAAAAHHH!"**

Ichigo and his sisters were a block away from the turn back onto their street when they heard it. This time none of them missed the monstrous howl that split the night. Ichigo spun around and pushed his sisters behind him. That's when he saw it. It was a grotesque creature with grey skin and a white mask that could only be compared to a skull. I towered over them at 14 feet tall. Then before he could react it charged and slapped him hard into a concrete wall.

His eyes widened for a moment and blood spewed from his mouth as his ribs were broken and punctured his lungs.

"Ichi-nii!" His sisters screamed as his body slumped to the ground. Their faces were pale with fear and tears streaked down their cheeks as they watched their brother's life leave his eyes.

 **"Hahahaha! What a tasty morsel you will be."** The hollow said as Ichigo's spirit appeared next to his body with a severed chain of fate attached to his chest.

"What?" He murmured to himself as he looked on in shock at his own bloody and crushed body. Then he remembered his sisters and snapped his head to look at them and the hollow that attacked him. "YUZU! KARIN! RUN!" He yelled with everything he had. The hollow stopped advancing and turned his attention to the two girls that were watching in horror.

 **"Oh? So those girls are precious to you? I think I'll make you watch as I eat them. GEHEHEHE!"** The hollow cackled with malice as it began to approach to two girls who were frozen with shock, terror, and grief. Ichigo felt rage like he'd never known flood his veins at the thought that this... thing... this... monster planned to hurt what he had sworn on his mother's grave to protect.

"RUN! NOW!" He yelled at them as he charged the monster from behind; it glanced at him and swatted him aside as if he were an insect. It picked up Yuzu who began to struggle in it's grip as it laughed at the girls futile efforts to free herself. "Ichi-nii!" She screamed as she felt it begin to squeeze her. That was all she managed to get out as the air was squeezed out of her lungs. Ichigo's blood ran cold. It was happening all over again. Just like five years ago his family was going to be killed and he wasnt going to be able to protect them. Anguish and rage filled him as he watch from his position crumpled on the ground. Karin was attempting to hurt it by kicking it's shin repeatedly, but it didn't seem to notice.

 **"Watch boy as I devour all that is precious to you and despair while you can do nothing to save them. Despair makes your souls taste that much sweeter."** The beast said with glee as Yuzu slumped unconscious in its grip. Something snapped inside of Ichigo in that moment. That's when he heard the voice.

 _ **"Do you want power Ichigo?"**_ It asked with a warped and two toned voice. Ichigo didn't even need to think about it.

 _"Yes. I'll do anything to save my sisters!"_ He thought desperately. The voice responded immediately.

 _ **"Hahaha! All right then King, but I'll warn you now if you lose control of yourself, of your instincts for even a moment, YOU will be the one eating your sisters. Pull that chain on your chest off, it's the only way you'll be able to fight that beast."**_ The voice told him. Ichigo glanced down and grabbed the chain.

 _"What's your name? Why are you helping me?_ " He replied to the mysterious voice in his head.

 _ **"My name doesn't matter, we won't be meeting again after this."**_ The voice said, before Ichigo got a brief impression of someone smiling sadly at him. _**"And why I'm helping you doesn't matter for the same reason. You need to hurry though or your sisters are gonna die for real."**_

He snapped back to attention to see Yuzu's face beginning to change colors as the hollow holding his sister cackled madly. He grabbed the chain again and began pulling. Pain like nothing he'd ever felt before filled his being as the chain began to pry loose. It wouldn't stop him though. If he had to bathe in the flames of hell to protect his sisters then he would do so gladly. His mind conjured the image of his mother's bloody corpse and he began to pull more insistently. He'd never fail his family again. His mind was focused so completely on protecting his family he didn't even notice the chain come off. A wave of pain that eclipsed even the previous ones in intensity hit him but his focus never wavered. A scream tore from his throat as his body exploded into black reishi and began to reform. The hollow heard and turned its head to Ichigo's last position. To its surprise, Ichigo was gone.

 **"What's this?! Where are you tasty human?! If you don't come back, I'll just kill and eat the girls right here!"** It yelled, but before it could carry out its threat, its arm was severed at the shoulder in a spray of gore and a white hollow grabbed Yuzu before she could hit the ground. It had red markings on its arms and the left side of its skull like mask, as well as on its red tipped tail that swayed behind it dangerously. Spikes adorned its muscular shoulders and its eyes were golden yellow with black scelera. It glared hatefully at the other hollow as a breeze swept across the street and its shaggy orange hair swayed to the side. As soon as the breeze stopped the white hollow vanished and its opponent's head hit the ground, followed by its now lifeless body.

"Ichi...nii?" Karin whispered as the hollow turned to face the black haired girl with Yuzu still gripped under its left arm. Ichigo could feel it, the primal hunger that drove the other hollow to attack him and his family. It was urging him to eat the other hollow and then his sisters. He could smell them now and they smelled delicious. So full of life and reishi. He began salivating right before he registered his own thoughts. Revulsion filled him at the thought of hurting his family, of destroying everything he had left and his knees buckled under him as he slumped to the ground.

 **"Karin..."** He gasped out as he shifted Yuzu's weight so that he was carrying her bridal style. A black blur then buried itself in his chest and began sobbing. He rested his chin on top of her head and let Yuzu's legs rest on his lap so the he could move his other arm to Karin's back. He stroked her back gently making sure not to cut her with his claws. After a few minutes she got her sobbing under control.

 **"Come on Karin we need to get back to the clinic. Goat-chin needs to know what happened."** He murmured to her. She nodded and he readjusted his grip on Yuzu. He wrapped his tail gently around Karin's waist and set her on his back before beginning the trek back to the clinic. Karin was unconscious in moments.

-Scene Break-

Ichigo opened the front door and was met with the shocked and horrified face of his father. He flinched before he could stop himself.

 **"G-goat chin."** He stuttered and this seemed to snap his father out of whatever horrified daze he was in.

"Ichigo?" His dad asked.

 **"Yeah dad... it's me."** He managed to say. **"I... Yuzu was hurt by some... thing, and... I think I died."**

Isshin looked shocked for a moment before he started crying. He didn't know why his hollowfied son wasn't eating everything in sight, but with the small amount of reiryoku he had started to regenerate it wouldnt be enough to purify a hollow.

"What happened Ichigo?" Isshin asked as Ichigo gently set his sisters down on the couch so he wouldn't wake them.

 **"In the kitchen dad, I don't want to wake them. They need to rest after what they went through."** Ichigo didn't wait for his father before moving into the kitchen. Isshin followed after only a moment's hesitation. Ichigo was staring out of the kitchen window when he began to speak.

 **"We were walking home from the festival when I told Karin we would stop by the convenience store for some ice cream. On our way there I heard this howl but I didn't know at the time what it was."** Ichigo began as he turned to face his father, eyes averted to the side. He couldn't even look at him afraid of what he might see on his father's face. Fear, perhaps? He focused his gaze instead on his sleeping sisters. He could still feel the hunger gnawing at his very soul, but he kept his resolve firm. He would not hurt his family. He resumed his tale while he made sure to keep the two sleeping tethers to his sanity in sight.

 **"We were about three blocks away from the house when it attacked us. I... I tried to protect them but it just swept me aside like a bug. The next thing I knew, I was staring at my own mangled body. I told them to run but that just made it more excited. It said it was going to make me watch while it ate them in front of me..."** Ichigo trailed off and took in a shuddering breath as the tears he had been holding back finally slipped out. **"I've never felt so angry before. I tried to attack it but it just smacked me aside again, like I was nothing. I felt so weak and helpless. When it started crushing the life out of Yuzu... It felt like something in me snapped. I heard this voice tell me to yank the chain off my chest if I wanted power. To kill that thing... to save my sisters. So I did."**

Ichigo paused again his golden eyes glazing over as he remembered the pain. He shivered involuntarily at the remembrance of the event. Isshin just stared, wide eyed and disbelieving as the hollowfied form of his son recounted his tale.

 **"It hurt... so much, but I kept going for their sake and for the promise I made to mom at her grave. When I changed the pain was even worse, and when I could focus again... There was this hunger. I've never been so hungry before. I'm still so hungry. I killed it and saved them but I almost didn't. I smelled them and the dead monster and all of my instincts were telling me to eat. They just smelled so good. I almost lost it before I realized just what I was thinking of doing. It made me sick. I don't think I've ever hated myself more than in that moment. What I almost did was unforgivable."** He couldn't go on and finally broke down. Sobs of shame, regret, and self loathing wracking his muscular frame. Isshin just stared before rushing forward and embracing his son in a tight hug tears sliding down his face.

"It's alright ichigo. You didn't. You kept control. God knows how but you did. You protected them. It's okay my son, we'll get through this, as a family." Isshin paused here and let his son cry onto his shoulder. Soon he was able to speak again he looked at his father with eyes so full of pain that Isshin almost broke down again.

 **"How? How can everything just be okay? Look at me I'm a monster! I have a god damn hole straight through my chest! I have claws and a tail! I almost hurt them! I almost hurt MY FAMILY! How can you just be okay with that?!"** Ichigo snapped, tears still dripping out from under his skull like mask. He finally looked his father in the eye and what he saw there shocked him to his core. Love. Acceptance. Pride.

"Because you didn't hurt them Ichigo. You did your job as an older brother and you brought them back to me. Even if you look like that and even if your physical body is dead you came back to me. I'm proud of you Ichigo; you're my son. What you look like doesn't change that." Isshin said with a proud fatherly smile on his face, tears still leaking from his eyes. Ichigo just stared at his father with disbelief and a new glimmer of hope in his eyes. Isshin soon spoke again this time in a more serious tone of voice.

"Ichigo what you've become is called a hollow. A hollow is human soul that is corrupted by losing it's chain of fate before being sent to the Soul Society. Hollows are distinguished by the hole where their heart used to be and their masks. Most hollows loose all memories of their human lives and their sanity. They seek to fill the void in their soul by consuming other souls. Many hollows start by consuming those they were close to in life, their close friends and family." Here Ichigo sucked in a breath and stared at his father. He was dangerous, more so that he could have imagined. He now understood what the voice said about losing control of his instincts.

 **"Shit, I... I need to leave! I'm putting you in danger! If I lose control of my instincts even for a second I could kill you all!"** Ichigo began backing away before he was caught in Isshin's grip. His father's face was determined and compassionate.

"No Ichigo, the fact that you're still in control, that you're still you is enough to tell me what I need to know. You won't lose control as long as you have your anchors. As long as you have me and the twins I know you won't lose yourself. Ichigo before I met your mother I was a Shinigami. Shinigami are souls that have gained spiritual power and send souls on the Soul Society. It is also their job to hunt and purify hollows-"

 **"WHAT?! So there are freakin' DEATH GODS hunting me now?!"** Ichigo burst out before Isshin punched him square in the face. Ichigo barely felt anything but it got his attention. Isshin on the other hand was crying "manly" tears, hunched over his now throbbing hand, before he comically straightened and acted as if he wasn't the most embarrassing person Ichigo had ever known.

"Don't interrupt your father when he is passing on his sagely knowledge to his son. As I was saying they purify hollows. This IS different than killing them. When a Shinigami slays a hollow all they are cleansed of the sins they committed as a hollow and sent to the soul society. All the souls they consumed are released back into the reincanation cycle or to hell depending on the severity of the sins they committed in life. They can do this because they possess zanpakutou: special spiritual weapons that usually take the form of a sword. Then there are the quincy. The quincy were a group of spiritually aware humans that gained the power to kill hollows by absorbing and manipulating the reishi around them to form weapons, usually bows and arrows. However, the quincy didn't purify the hollows, rather they destroyed their souls and those souls trapped within them. The shinigami eradicated the quincy when they refused to stop killing hollows lest they destroy the balance of souls. Your mother was a quincy, Ichigo."

Isshin paused to let his son absorb this information and poured himself a glass of water. He took a drink before continuing.

"I went to the world of the living with a team to purify a powerful hollow that had been detected there. My entire team was wiped out and it was about to kill me too when your mother took the attack meant for me and eliminated the hollow. However, hollow reiatsu is poisonous to the quincy if it gets inside of their bodies. It begins a process called soul suicide. Her reiatsu was literally destroying her from the inside out trying to fight off the hollow infection. I took her to my friend Urahara Kisuke who told me that the only way to stabilize her was to inject Shinigami reiatsu. into her system. When all three energies are present they stabilize and the process of soul suicide stops. I had to give up my powers as a Shinigami to save her." Isshin stopped to take another gulp of water before continuing.

"Your mother passed her hollow reishi and quincy heritage to you, while you received Shinigami reiatsu from me. The most likely reason you still have control over yourself now is because all three of the energies have been with you from birth and they are helping to stabilize your soul. That combined with your will to protect your sisters is what is keeping you sane." Isshin finished. While his son just stared, his tail swaying slowly from side to side as he let the information sink in.

Isshin opened his mouth to continue speaking when a green blur flashed in between the two and aimed a sword at Ichigo's neck. The offender was a blonde man with grey eyes and stubble coating his chin. He wore a green haori, a green and white striped bucket hat, and clogs. His face was cold and serious as he stared Ichigo down.

 **"Hey goat-chin who's this goofy looking ass clown?"** Ichigo asked bluntly causing everyone in the room to face fault. Isshin couldn't contain his laughter and rolled around on the ground gripping his sides, before gasping out in between bouts of hysterical laughter.

"Hear that Kisuke... HAHAHAHA... goofy... AHAHAHAHA... looking... HAHAHAHA... ASS CLOWN!" Isshin just couldn't seem to handle any more before he lost it again. Kisuke just stared on in disbelief and shocked embarrassment before the two older men suddenly felt an ominous sensation tingle down their spines. They slowly turned to look at Ichigo who's eyes were squinted closed while smiling pleasantly under his mask at Isshin, while an ominous black aura seeped out of him.

 **"Goat-chin... If you wake up Yuzu and Karin... I will put THAT picture into the local newspaper's mail bin."** Ichigo said in a very pleasant tone of voice.

Isshin and Kisuke gulped at that. The only person they had ever seen do that was... her. Isshin began sweating bullets while holding his hands out placatingly in front of him. "N-now Ichigo there is no need for that. I'm s-sure they're still sleeping just fine. T-there's no need to do something that drastic." Isshin began laughing nervously as Kisuke's eyes widened at that statement.

"Ichigo?" Kisuke began, "That's your son, Isshin?" Isshin nodded at this before he began to tell Kisuke Ichigo's story. Halfway through Kisuke returned his sword to its cane form. At the end of the tale Kisuke was looking at Ichigo with an odd gleam in his eyes. He suddenly whipped a fan out of nowhere before grinning like a loon.

"So Kurosaki-kun, it seems you are in need of my expert assistance!" He snapped his fan shut and began outlining his plan. "You are a hollow Kurosaki-kun and while you may be in control now, the hunger will only get worse the longer you go without eating. The only exceptions to this rule being the Vasto Lordes and Arrancar. SO, you need to go to Hueco Mundo and eat immediately. It's even worse for new hollows so, honestly, I'm surprised you managed to stay in control this long." Ichigo's eyes widened at this new information before he realized that he was in fact hungrier than before. He pushed his hunger aside to listen to what Kisuke had to say. When his attention returned to the odd man he found Kisuke looking at him with an astonished look on his face.

Ichigo was getting uncomfortable with how long Kisuke stared at him and was about to speak when Kisuke finally broke the silence. "Kurosaki-kun what you just did was amazing. Do you even know how intruiging you are?" There was that weird gleam again and Ichigo was beginning to get nervous.

"No experimenting on my son Kisuke!" Isshin burst in, causing Kisuke to pout.

"Oh, it'll be fine Isshin!" He waved his fan dismissively with a large grin plastered on his face as he continued. "Nothing invasive I promise, just a few reiatsu readings, maybe some tissue samples-"

He was immediately cut off by Ichigo as the white hollow crossed his arms in front of him in a universal no sign and stated bluntly. **"No way. I refuse."**

Isshin looked at Kisuke with a smirk before stating smugly, "Ha! You've been shut down!"

Kisuke just sighed before continuing,"In all seriousness I do need some reiatsu and tissue samples if I'm going to help you Kurosaki-kun. I can get them before I send you off to Hueco Mundo. You should take your time to acquaint yourself with your new abilities and to evolve as a hollow. I would recommend that you spend at least a year there before coming back. You should make sure that you are at least adjuchas level before returning. If you aren't strong enough then you won't be able to protect your family. Besides I'll likely need at least that much time to develop the proper cloaking devices to help hide your reiatsu from Soul Society."

Ichigo's eyes widened at this. He didn't know if he could leave his family for that long but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. **"If that's what it takes to keep my family safe then so be it, but I do have some questions. What is an adjuchas, what is an arrancar, what is a Hueco Mundo, and can I tell my sisters goodbye?"** Ichigo asked the blonde shopkeeper.

Kisuke's eyes softened at the last question. "Of course, Kurosaki-kun you can say your farewells in the morning. In the meantime we should head to my shop so we can get those samples and some last minute training in. I'll explain the other two questions on the way there."

-Scene Break-

Ichigo stood in front of a garganta that Kisuke had opened for him, exchanging teary goodbyes with his family. Yuzu was crying openly and wouldn't let go of his leg. Karin kept trying to discreetly wipe her eyes on her arm.

"Ichi-nii I'm going to miss you! Please be safe and comeback soon so I can make that dinner I promised you last night." Yuzu said as she did a formidable impression of a kicked puppy. Ichigo almost lost his resolve right then and there.

Karin tried to play it more cool but the quivering tone of her voice told Ichigo that she was minutes away from crying just as hard as Yuzu was. "H-hey you can miss my soccer match for the finals this year but n-next year you better watch, o-okay?"

Ichigo pulled them both in for a hug. **"I promise I'll come back as soon as I can and we can do whatever you want okay?"** He managed to get out. He was close to tears himself but he would be strong for them. He would get stronger and come back to protect them, no matter how unsavory eating other hollows to gain strength would be. He would do anything to keep them safe. He let them go and they walked to stand over by Isshin and Ichigo looked at his father.

 **"Goat-chin, you better take good care of them."** He said with a small glare before his father's face split in a large fake smile that didn't fool Ichigo for a second.

"Don't worry my son! A man must protect his children after all! Now go and become strong, so that you can spend as much time with your family as you want when you come back!" Isshin yelled loudly with a corny thumbs up.

 **"Tch. More like man-child."** Ichigo replied but with no real heat to it.

"Kurosaki-kun, It's time." Kisuke said from his spot near the controls of his machine. "This garganta will take you to the menos forest. Start there and if you can, plan accordingly and skip the gillian stage altogether."

Ichigo nodded before waving one final goodbye to his family and stepping into the yawning abyss, creating a platform of reishi under his feet as he did so. He began sprinting forward with his goals in mind. He would become a Vasto Lorde so he could return without having to worry about his hunger ever again. Then with Kisuke's help, he would become an arrancar so he could spend real time with his sisters, as their big brother again.

 **AN: Well? Love it? Hate it? Just want to make a witty comment? Please leave a review! Constructive criticism is welcome and pointless flames will be ignored. The next chapter won't be released until I've confirmed, whether or not my beta from Death vs Maelstrom wants to beta this story as well.**


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